Ideas that came up as I was writing various chapters. Come back to them for next chapters.

  • Update rejection section of at least add a footnote to it that even though it has been overcome, my natural tendency is to sit it out and only dance with friends. In order to soldier up and go get dances we need to employ a ritual to put us in the right mindset. A gentle one that doesn’t lead to stress or burnout.
  • our fears are not things we need to add to our selves to overcome them. Things we need to remove. Courage is created not by adding something, but by removing something.
  • Permanent student
  • Your worth at milongas changes because you feel like people evaluate you on how you dance, not on who you are or how you are as a person.
  • a mantra to get into the music zone. How to stop learning mode and practice mode and actually dance.
  • Are you a frog or a horse: use analogies of types of people and how to break them in. Boling frogs (gradual or immidiate like breaking in a horse). Study the sources of these to see how you can work them in at some point into this chapter.
  • It’s not about how well you play, it’s how you feel about what you play.
  • There is acting in dancing, but you don’t just simply pick a character. You need to dance at least 100 dances to discover who it is you really can be.
  • What you remember is not the steps you made or the mistakes you made. You remember how it felt. So we are looking for connection in a milonga, the sacred place.
  • Find the oomph in your dance. Nothing is passive. When in embrace everything is active.
  • mayfbe a chapter on teachers and how to think of them and how to be ok in exceeding them
  • in first chapter, make unity section more realistic; remove the magic. Yes, unity like paintbrush scenario, but it’s not due to something mystic. It’s body synchronization. If your level is high enough and her level is as high or higher, the synchrony will probably happen. So find these people and go with them. Use the quote of love is not something you find under a rock, but apply to unity.

I think we’re craving, whenever we use habit formation in [avoidant ways], that is in a way that results in us not doing the things in question, is our old friend the feeling of control. We want above all feeling in control of our lives. We want to see ourselves as the captain of the super yacht of our lives standing confidently on the bridge steering our life towards the future pointer which we will finally feel adequate and on top of things. Devising schemes for self improvement can really feed into that fantasy because you get to mentally project into the future all details all the nuts and bolts of how you’re going to get to that perfect future place. Where by contrast when you just do something today as a one off, [imperfectly and] with no promises about the future; when you just write a few paragraphs of your novel or sit and meditate for one session or suggest one meet up with a friend or go for one run, that requires the surrender of control because that’s not about steering the super yacht. That’s about launching your little canoe directly onto the rapids of reality and letting life take you wherever it’s going to take you. It means risking that you might do the thing badly and certainly that you’ll do it imperfectly. It means being OK with the possibility that you might sit down and meditate today or go for a run today or reach out to a friend today and then not come back to doing it again tomorrow. the tenderness of holding a baby

  • Luciana “It’s ONE CENTIMETER. The difference between the magical dance that you are all seeking and an OK dance is one centimeter. If your shoulder is one centimeter farther than it should be you’re in an OK dance. If your foot placement is one centimeter off, you’re in an OK dance. If your frontality is off by one centimeter, you are in an OK dance. Find that centimeter to find your magical dance.”“It’s ONE CENTIMETER. The difference between the magical dance that you are all seeking and an OK dance is one centimeter. If your shoulder is one centimeter farther than it should be you’re in an OK dance. If your foot placement is one centimeter off, you’re in an OK dance. If your frontality is off by one centimeter, you are in an OK dance. Find that centimeter to find your magical dance.” Then build on this about how finding the elusive flying tanda is like a lottery of one in a billion. Because of differnt body types and such.
  • tango does not have a goal nor an end. Tango evolves. A book on the other hand does. So this book must come to an end
  • a whole section on criticism and how it affects you and how it throws you off balance and how to regain your balance.
  • remember the concept of we need to remove rather than add to become courageous. Look this up in the 100 dances note.
  • I feel like the book is taking the shape of: get over the emotional stuff first, then that will open space to the hard science stuff. But must get over emotional stuff first. Example, get over dance and milonga anxiety then get into dance technique and such. Get over coding and inadequacy anxiety, then dive into learning and growing as a dev, get over jealousy and comparing yourself to other, then get into entreprenuership.
  • The centimeter is a great chapter name about technique.